Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Morning Messages
To my cat: Thank you for the helpful intervention, but I am actually aware that my alarm went off. I'm simply ignoring it. And I'm trying quite hard to ignore you, but you don't have a snooze button. Let's work on that.
To my tires: I know the temperatures have been cooler, but does it really have to make that much of a difference on your air pressure levels?
To the red mini-van in the next lane: If you're in a two lane going to one lane situation, and you are ahead of the car in the next lane over, and that car is additionally slowing to acknowledge that you have the right of way, drive on. Pulling ahead and then slowing down to match the speed of the vehicle already one-half car length behind you and in process of dropping back further, then stopping entirely and honking your horn while gesturing wildly that the car to your flank should go isn't particularly efficient roadway management. Or the way to win friends and influence people.
To the impatient man at Starbuck's: Have you not noticed that they cleverly designed the cream and sugar bars to accomodate at least three people who want to customize their hot foamy beverages? At once, no less! So it really isn't necessary, and it's a little self-defeating, to stand directly behind the lone person at the counter. Given the abundance of available space to my right and my left, hearing you tapping your cup and shifting your weight around isn't going to make me speed up the addition of cinnamon to my vanilla latte.
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To my tires: I know the temperatures have been cooler, but does it really have to make that much of a difference on your air pressure levels?
To the red mini-van in the next lane: If you're in a two lane going to one lane situation, and you are ahead of the car in the next lane over, and that car is additionally slowing to acknowledge that you have the right of way, drive on. Pulling ahead and then slowing down to match the speed of the vehicle already one-half car length behind you and in process of dropping back further, then stopping entirely and honking your horn while gesturing wildly that the car to your flank should go isn't particularly efficient roadway management. Or the way to win friends and influence people.
To the impatient man at Starbuck's: Have you not noticed that they cleverly designed the cream and sugar bars to accomodate at least three people who want to customize their hot foamy beverages? At once, no less! So it really isn't necessary, and it's a little self-defeating, to stand directly behind the lone person at the counter. Given the abundance of available space to my right and my left, hearing you tapping your cup and shifting your weight around isn't going to make me speed up the addition of cinnamon to my vanilla latte.
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Posted by Rogueslayer at 8:27 AM 
