Friday, April 01, 2005

Lost - Deus Ex Machina 

Spotlight on Locke. I think his daddy issues might be able to beat up Jack's and Sawyer's daddy issues. An unspecified number of years ago, when Locke had a receding hairline but still had hair, could walk and worked in a large toy store, his mother (Swoosie Kurtz) who had given him up at birth tracked him down and chatted him up. At one point as he was trying to figure out why she was stalking him he was struck by a car backing out of a parking space, but he got right up and continued his pursuit. I'm wondering if this is going to turn out to be the origin of his paraplegia, one of those injuries that aren't apparent right away.

Anyway, mom appears to be a bit on the wacko side as she reveals to Locke that he was immaculately conceived. Locke's not big on buying this, so he hires a detective to track Daddy down. Daddy is a very wealthy man who enjoys hunting and who didn't know about Baby Locke until a year after he'd been handed over to the first of his long series of foster homes. Daddy NRA decides to bond with Locke over several hunting trips, which apparently started Locke on his path to acquiring his many survival skills. One day he shows up and finds Daddy NRA hooked up to a dialysis machine - turns out his kidneys have failed, and he's at the bottom of the organ donor list. Surprise! Locke of course volunteers to donate one of his own, since he's become so close to his long lost relative and he now feels like he belongs in the world.

Too bad his street skills weren't developed yet, because the whole thing was a set up, as Locke discovers upon waking up one kidney lighter only to find that Daddy Dearest has checked out and is receiving his post surgical care at home, where Locke is now persona non grata. Turns out Crazy Mommy wasn't really crazy, but just needed the money Daddy Dearest offered her to set the wheels in motion.

Our last shot of Past Locke is him sitting in his VW Bug, wearing his hospital gown and a pair of pajama pants, seeping blood from his kidney removal wound, screaming and punching holes in the windshield.

Back on the island, he and Boone have unearthed the mystery bunker, but can't get in. Locke gets a vision of a Beechcraft plane crashing, his mother pointing at it, and a very bloody Boone saying "Theresa falls up the stairs, Theresa falls down the stairs." It was all very Twin Peaks. Locke uses the Theresa information to convince Boone to help him find the plane, which he is sure holds the answer to unlocking the bunker. Turns out Theresa was Boone's nanny, whom he'd torment by calling her upstairs all the time until one day she slipped on the stairs and broker her neck. Nanny go boom. Meanwhile, Locke's legs are starting to go numb and give out again, so Boone has to climb the cliff on which the plane (of course they found it, silly) is perched. Turns out it was a drug smuggling flight, loaded with hollow Mary statues filled with heroin. But the radio still works. Boone sends out a mayday, to which someone starts to respond, but then the plane slides off the cliff, crashes nose first and flips over on its back. Boone go boom.

Locke defies his failing legs, drags Bloody Boone out of the plane, tosses him over his manly shoulders and carries him all the way back to camp. Jack takes over, but things aren't looking good.

Speaking of looking good, or not, the comedy B-sketch involved Sawyer having terrible headaches, not wanting treatment from Jack, Kate finally dragging him to the medical cave and Jack giving him an exam. This involved waving a pen in front of his face, then asking him all sorts of questions like have you ever had a blood transfusion, sex with a prostitute or a sexually transmitted disease. After Sawyer storms off, Kate asks Jack what's wrong with him. "He needs glasses." BWAH!!!! Go Jack! He then rounds up all the abandoned eyeglasses and does the "better or worse" series of tests. Sayid then splices and dices parts of two different pairs to make a custom pair of Sawyer Specs. Upon seeing them on Sawyer, Hurley's response is, "Whoa! Looks like someone steamrolled Harry Potter!"

Fun at Sawyer's expense. Does it get better than this?

Tantalizing closing: Locke returns to the bunker, peers in the inscrutable window, pounds the metal and demands to know why the island isn't giving him what he needs. Moments later, a bright light starts shining through the window. Hmm.

Next time: Things don't look good for the continued existence of Bloody Boone, but he's trying to deal well with his pending demise. Claire goes into labor, and Charlie doesn't deal effectively with the pending arrival.

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Posted by Rogueslayer at 2:44 PM